Running Away

Some days I just want to run away. Get in the car or on a plane and just go...somewhere else, anywhere else.
Then I remember, wherever you go, you take yourself with you. I can't become a different person just by changing my surroundings. So, what's the other option? Change who I am within my current circumstances.
I'm tired of being sad, filled with worry, never being able to completely relax. Always waiting for the next bad thing. One of my "friends" told me yesterday that I focus on the negative to much. Maybe she is right, maybe I do. I just know that whatever your focus, negative or positive, shit happens. You can't stop it from happening just because you are little mary sunshine.
I want my life back, the happy, passion filled, exciting life I used to have with my husband. He's sick, it's not his fault. I know that. I don't blame him. I'm just....lonely and afraid.