Progress

When I was little I wanted to solve mysteries. I aspired to be a forensic examiner (like Quincy, this was pre-CSI days) or a mystery detective like Nancy Drew. Instead, I fell into my "career" by accident, or rather a series jobs led me into what I do now. I never sat down and said "I want to manage the office of a millwork company and learn to estimate jobs". Nope, not once was that an aspiration of mine.
Yesterday, though, I realized what a good fit this job, and the new stuff I'm learning, really is for me.
My boss handed me a very difficult remodel job to bid. It was pretty confusing and eventually he decided we'd better go visit the job site. It was in a high rise in downtown Dallas. Very near some of the punk clubs where I used to hang out (mostly in the parking lot because I was too broke to get in) and across the street from what used to be a very fancy hotel where a friend of mine threw an 18th birthday party and we panhandled for booze money and stole from people's room service trays in the hallway. Yes, after they had eaten. We were young & punk, what can I say?
It felt odd and cool to be there, on business. No one was going to kick me out, I was there for a reason.
But, since I'm not 18 anymore, the really cool part of the whole experience was coming back to work and going over the job with my boss. He said my scope of work was well done and he really had a feel for the job now that we'd gone over it together. Then he told me not to get run over by a bus on the way home because no way could he figure out the rest of the job without me.
It felt....marvelous. I'd solved a mystery and gotten praise and recognition from the boss for it. I'm finally "getting" it when it comes to reading blueprints and figuring out where everything fits together....even Nancy Drew herself would be proud of me.

D jr is growing up!

D jr just left
he came over to give his dad a "bid" on some fence repairs (high winds knocked a few panels out)
he was very serious, with his tool belt and pen & paper
figuring, etc
came up with a ridiculously low price
we more than doubled it
I'm so proud of him for not just sitting on his ass waiting for someone to bail him out of the latest jam. He's working full time, engaged (yes, he's way too young) to a nice girl and seems to be getting his act together.

Here I was, blaming Mercury Retrograde

It's all because the gays are getting married

this one's for you, sis

obviously, I don't handle stress well

D spending another night in the hospital? check
exhausted? check
irritable? check
overwhelmed? check
itchy? check
covered in red fucking bumps that look just like last years chicken pox so it must be shingles (and maybe last year's case was too)? CHECK AND DOUBLE FUCKING CHECK

Room 510

D's spending the night in the hospital, but the good news is they didn't cut him open. They were able to remove a LOT of scar tissue that had formed adhesions all over his
intestines. He wasn't able to get it all laproscopically and said in the
future if his pain isn't relieved, he may need to have the full blown cut
him open surgery but for now he just did it laproscopically.
His spleen is enlarged and his blood platlets are low so we've got that to
worry about now, too but over all it went really well. He's only had one dose of pain medicine since they brought him up and he's resting really well which is a nice and unexpected change from the norm.
N & her girlfriend brought me a California roll for lunch and my friend Ri brought homemade spring rolls for my dinner. I could get used to that!

Surgery

I'm in the waiting room (thank you North Hills Hospital for the wifi)
I told a friend to remind me to breath and she's been emailing me pictures of the word breath for two days straight
this morning when we were checking in, D was lying there and a nurse lifted his robe up and said "I'm checking what size we're going to need...looks like a medium" and I started cracking up, then she realized what she'd done and she started cracking up and explained she was seeing what size stockings he'd need. Everyone in the room was totally cracking up and then D said "well, at least she didn't lift my robe and say she needed an extra-small"

I'll post again after the surgeon comes out and tells me how it went

Surgery to fix surgeries

D will be having surgery on Monday in an attempt to remove all the scar tissue from his (so very many) prior surgeries. Originally his GI Dr. said "oh, it will be outpatient, you'll be back at work the next day.
The surgeon's verdict, not so much. He's talking about cutting D open horizontally and he mentioned "ICU" which didn't sit well with me when D told me about it.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I just want him to be well, to quit hurting every day, to have energy, to feel good. I hope this helps but damn I'm tired of hospitals.

Maintenance Required

There's a light on my car's dash that says "maintenance required"
it's been on for a week or so, we're just procrastinating taking it to the shop (by we I mean D)
It's nothing serious, just means the tires need to be rotated or something mundane
that's about where I'm at in life at the moment
I need some maintenance but I'm procrastinating
I was grouchy as hell yesterday
irritated with D for being an ass at Group Conscience, irritate with myself for reacting
irritated with his eldest child for taking back her piece of shit ex
irritated with N & Sh for buying a boat, great, now no one will ever want to ride on our boat, which needs some engine maintenance and D is putting it off, too so that every time we try to go out on it the warning noises start and we have to head back in
irritated that the pool liner needs replacing again and we don't have the money at the moment to get it fixed so we have no pool
irritated that we have no money
really irritated that coffee has gone up to over $11 a pound! We bought store brand, Fuck Folgers
I want to start shopping at Wal Mart again (I gave it up, in spite of my post several years back staunchly defending my right to shop there, in my heart I knew it was a bad thing to support them and I have stopped) but every thing is so much more at Albertson's and for a couple years it didn't matter because it seemed we would never run out of money but we have and it irritates me
D is feeling like total shit, too. He has an appointment with a surgeon on Thursday to see about operating to remove some scar tissue that has built up and is interfering with his digestive system.
My friend Ri that came back to AA is avoiding me, I guess she's relapsed, again.
Oh and D gave me poison ivy. It itches like holy hell. I can't sleep, I can't concentrate and it pisses me off.
Everything is just not right
I need to work some steps or something, huh?

Addiction

Facebook
Pack Rat

I can not quit playing

I'm on Level 28
I love games that require thought & planning vs games that require hand eye co-ordination (which I have none of)

Drawing a blank

D and I went down to Conroe for the weekend to meet up with my mom who has just retired from teaching.
Mom gave me a bunch of very old pictures of my father, I had no pictures until then
I do not recognize the man at all. His image stirs up no memories whatsoever. They divorced when I was 8 but prior to that he was mostly away with the Navy. I saw him a occasionally from ages 8-12 (when he married my evil step mother who hated us) and maybe 3 times from 12-14 and I think twice from 14-21 and never again after that. I think I have completely repressed all memories of the man.
One picture was dated 1960, which is the year my parents married. It has a message to my mom that says "May God always keep you safe, Love Darrell"
how cheesy is that, you just marry this hot young red head (D kept saying "man, your mom was HOT") and you have to go off with the Navy while she goes back to high school and your message is "May God always keep you safe"??? Lame, dad, very lame