Bush's Speech

From: Borowitz ReportJanuary 30, 2006http://www.Borowitzreport.com
BUSH'S STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS TO BE SIMULCAST IN ENGLISH
President Hopes to Reach Broader Audience, Aides SayFor the first time since he was elected President of the United States, George W.Bush's State of the Union address tonight will be simulcast in English, the WhiteHouse confirmed.With the president's approval ratings sagging, the decision to simulcast the speechin English was widely seen as an attempt by the president to make an appeal to abroader audience."The majority of people in this country are English speaking, and quite frankly,we can't afford to ignore them any longer," one senior aide said. "Hopefully,by doing the English simulcast, we'll be reaching out to a lot of those folks."Once the decision was made earlier in the month to launch the historic first Englishsimulcast of a speech by President Bush, then began the hard work of translatingthe text of the address from Mr. Bush's language into English.Davis Logsdon, a professor of linguistics at the University of Minnesota, was oneof several scholars approached to do the translation who ultimately quit in frustration."The problem is that the language the president speaks, by most measures, isnot a language at all," Professor Logsdon said. Still, the White House remains guardedly optimistic about tonight's simulcast, andaides said that if all goes as planned they might soon offer English simulcasts of press briefings by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.Elsewhere, former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein stormed out of his courtroom today,got a good look at what was going on in the streets of Baghdad, and quickly hurriedback in.

Debate and Update

I'm trying to decide whether to keep this blog going. I don't think anyone is really reading it anymore and I just don't feel much like blogging lately. I won't delete it or anything, just thinking about whether to keep posting here.

I went to a new GI Dr. yesterday. He was very thourough and is sending me for more tests on Thursday. I'm supposed to go back in 2 weeks (Valentine's Day) to get a game plan for treatment. For now he took me off Protonix (causes constipation) and Carafate (ditto) and put me on a low roughage diet and Priolosec. I'm really hoping this will work. If I have to give up chocoate, ice cream, popcorn, sodas and all uncooked fruits/veggies plus a bunch of other stuff, it better be worth it!

On My Own

I'm preparing the corporate taxes for the company I work for almost 100% on my own this year. The last two years I've had the lady who used to work here come help me on the weekend. She's a degreed accountant, I'm not. I took really good notes last year and I should be ok. She'll come in for the final tax preperation but I'm flying solo on everything up to that point.
So I'll be busy and behind on blog reading....wish me luck!

Sunny Day, everything's A-ok

Friday was an emotional bottom lower than I've hit in a long, long time. I drove home from work thinking that I completly understood why some people commit suicide. My whole world got so narrow, everything was focused on getting through the next agonizing minute. I threw up the stupid smoothie. My stomach felt like I'd drank battery acid. I got home and laid down and sobbed.
Then D & I both remembered at the same time some medicine that I had from right after I was in the hospital. Oh the glorious joy that is Carafate! It completly numbed/coated my poor digestive track. I was able to finally drag myself to a meeting and go to eat where I had mashed potatos and mac n cheese.
Woke up in a HORRIBLE mood yesterday and got into a big fight with D about picking up after him all the time. I finally ended up crying and turning into a blubbering mass of jelly. I guess I needed to cry for myself, I've been through a lot lately and no matter how strong I try to be, sometimes I just need to admit that I need help. I'm calling Dr. Yummy for some depression meds on Monday, even if I'm in a good mood and my tummy is ok.
We had the Sat. night poker game last night. Boy it was fun. My sis even came and I think she won quite a bit. I did lousy but D won so I just took his money.
D jr. spent the weekend with us. He worked all day yesterday and when he got home he had somewhere around 6 bowls of the chilli his dad made. His mom doesn't fix meat anymore, plus he hadn't eaten all day. I ate the chili, meat and all and I didn't even think about the dead cows, it's been 7 months since I decided not to eat meat. I think I still won't on a regular basis but avoiding it all together is a pain in the ass. As long as I can pretend it's soy protein I'm ok.
Anyway, D jr. joined the rodeo team at school and has been riding bulls. It scares the shit out of me. If anything happens to that boy....well, it just better not. I don't think I can make myself go watch him, I'd be screaming the whole time. I can't even watch that shit on tv and I don't even know those people!
In other news, I'm supposed to be making soap, got three more batches to make (since I fucked up 3 this week). But, I'm out of oils, and it's sunny and 62 out...the bike is calling.....

Sonic tropical smoothie

Low fat yogurt- check
real fruit- check
added calcium- check
more than drv of Vitamins A & E- check

enough sugar to rot out all your teeth- check

I'm soooooo dissapointed

Crawling out of a hole

I started feeling better last night and this morning I feel much better. I actually slept, too.
But, my month of feeling crappy is not without consequences, as evidenced by this morning's discovery that I mailed some checks to the wrong payee's at work. I HATE making mistakes like that. Such a mess to clean up. The worst part is my mind is so muddy about what could have happened. I usually have the best memory and can bring stuff to my memory in exact detail. Not this. See what I get for taking that damn Reglan!

Side Effects get worse not better?

metoclopramide (Reglan) - drug class, medical uses, medication side effects, and drug interactions by MedicineNet.com: "SIDE EFFECTS: Metoclopramide is generally well tolerated when used in low doses for brief periods. The nervous system side effects increase with higher doses and longer periods of treatment. The common side effects are mentioned above under Drug Interactions."

So, this is not going to be a good long term solution for me if the side effects are already bad.

Frustrated, tired and depressed

Aside from the horrific side effects, the Reglan also doesn't appear to be working. I was so sick last night and this morning even Ensure is making me nausated.
I messed up my third batch of soap this week last night, too. Everything went wrong. It turned out ok finallly but all the bars aren't the same thickness, so it's back to the drawing board tonight. Of course it was for a special order, too.
I'm frustrated with being sick, tired from not sleeping (new sleeping meds did not work and may have aggrevated stomach issue) and I just want my life back. It's easy to say keep taking the Reglan, the side effects will go away. But I honestly don't think I can survive the side effects long enough to see if that happens. I need a clear head for work, I can't be sleeping or speeding my way through the day. Plus, other than the first time I took one, I can't see that they help.
I'm going to call the new GI's office in a bit to see if they got my records yet. I've got to do something. This is no way to live.

My kitchen hates me

It just ate an ounce of strawberry powder. I swear the bag was sealed and sitting on the counter one minute and all over the floor the next.

I am better than your kids.

I am better than your kids.

Compliments of Mrs. Honey

Slittery

Sleepy + Jittery = Slittery

I'm in hell. This is horrible, horrible, horrible medicine.
fuck

I'd rather have a stomach ache

May cause drowsiness

They weren't kidding!
After several misserable days in a row and leaving work early yesterday, I decided to take the Reglan. It worked great last night, I was even able to eat a tostada!
So, I decided to take one before breakfast. Bad decision.
I'm barely functioning at this point, on the busiest day of the month none the less. At one point I put my head down on the typewritter and thought about how it was just too much effort to breathe. Not exactly a suicidal thought but still, I'm not sure the pay off of no stomach ache is worth this!

A little better

I made a couple batches of soap last night and, per the usual, I dropped several things during the process and nothing glass broke!
I did break the plastic lids off the new ranch dressing bottle (it was in the way of the distilled water) and the poppy seeds, which are in a glass bottle and I really have no explanation for why I dropped the bottle or why they didn't break.
I guess anointing the floor with 17 oz of olive oil was enough for the greedy glass demon.....for now.

Love Monkey

I never watched "Ed" so I know nothing about Tom Cavanagh except what I heard on the radio interview with Kidd Kraddick this morning. Wow, I was blown away by him. I must watch this show tonight.
He was witty and charming and intellegent, he actually reminded me a whole lot of my brother in law. But, sis, don't tell him I said that or he'll get a big ego. http://www.cbs.com/primetime/love_monkey/

I am cursed

I just broke a brand new bottle of olive oil all over the kitchen floor. I didn't even drop it, just set the avocado oil next to it and turned around. Why couldn't it have been the plastic avocado oil bottle that dropped? Oh that's right because
My kitchen is cursed.

How much can one evil overlord of demonic kitchen possession demand?

Let's review the record
http://spitsjournal.blogspot.com/2006/01/kitchen-mishap.html
http://spitsjournal.blogspot.com/2005/12/kitchen-me-bad.html
http://spitsjournal.blogspot.com/2005/12/i-swear-im-not-making-this-up.html
http://spitsjournal.blogspot.com/2005/01/broken-glass.html
and the mother of all freaking broken glass incidents
http://spitsjournal.blogspot.com/2005/01/strange-happenings.html

There was one more before I started my blog where I dropped and broke my glass blender.
I was supposed to make soap tonight, I needed to make soap tonight but after crawling around on the floor to get up all the oil and glass, I'm exhausted. Plus I'm scared I'll break something else, like a big bottle of fragrance oil.
I need an exorcist in my kitchen STAT.

Quickly losing popularity

Normally I get payroll done on Thursdays, since I was out yesterday that didn't happen.
Then the boss had to go to a meeting in Dallas. So, all the employee's that are leaving early today are leaving without their checks.
No one loves me today.

Word verification once again

brought to you by stupid blog spam
I don't even have time to delete their crap right now

I missed a day and a half of work ack!! But, I'm feeling so much better. I had a fantastic visit with Dr. Yummy which I will tell ya'll about after I get caught up at work. If my boss would just quit bringing me stuff!

This site should come with a warning

Go Fug Yourself

Thanks Cecily for getting me hooked

AOL News - 1970s Teen Idol Leif Garrett Arrested

AOL News - 1970s Teen Idol Leif Garrett Arrested

I remember the face and the name but I can't for the life of me remember a thing he sang. I do remember my older sister having a HUGE crush on him.

Our local news sucks

A good portion of the newscast last evening was devoted to the breaking news that McDonald's is selling more chicken than beef. The "in-depth" reporting included interviews with an overweight McDonald's employee who assured us that they would still be selling hamburgers but that chicken was more nutritious. They showed shots of all the nutritious FRIED chicken sandwiches McDonald's sells. They even interviewed McDonald's customers. Bubba thinks hamburgers are a much better deal than chicken 'cause you get more for your money. (Flash to some hideous two patty fat dripping monstrosity). This is the news?
We are regularly subjected to the latest news reports on diet and exercise that I read about in Glamour 3 years ago before I let my subscription lapse. It's pitiful.
I guess there's nothing to exciting going on elsewhere in the world worth reporting, huh?
God forbid they report actual news. Especially in Texas.

Nothing but the good stuff

Somehow I've managed to put on a few pounds. Couldn't be all the junk I've been eating could it? (By junk I mean chocolate)
Last night D and I did pilates for the first time in months. Wow am I out of shape! 10 minutes kicked my ass but it needed kicking. Tonight we are taking a walk whether we want to or not.

Today I decided to only eat good food, no junk. So I had a blueberry bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. Later I had a banana and just now I had a pita bread with a tablespoon of spicy 3 pepper hummus and Laughing Cow light, some grape tomatos and some cucumer slices. Yummmm

And the best part is I ate it all. Yep, my stomach is doing better. Which puts me in danger of over compensating for months of not eating much and thus gaining all the weight back.

It's hard being me.

And your little dog, too....

About an hour after I went to bed last night I had it out with my brain. We haven't been getting along lately, especially at night. I tried everything, prayer, meditation, medication, you name it, nothing worked. My brain spends night after night endlessly ruminating about the eventual certainty of the demise of every living creature and most importantly my own. I try to fight it, I toss, I turn, I pet the cats. Then I start thinking about how the cats are old and won't live much longer and the whole cycle starts all over again.
So, last night after about an hour, I'd had enough. I told my brain to just shut the Fuck up already. I'm not in charge, I can't change the rules, it's time my brain just accepts that and lets me have some peace. Not getting any sleep certainly is not conducive to it having a long life span. I gave my brain some tough love and it finally let me sleep.
This morning on the way to work there was a dead animal in the road by our house. It was still dark out so I couldn't tell but I thought it might be my m.i.a. cat, Patchouli. So, I called D to ask him and he was tore up about it. It turns out the animal was the people on the corner's dog. Last week he had stopped to tell them their dog was out and they were very rude to him. I don't know if they just didn't care about their dog or if it insisted on getting out no matter what they did to prevent it and they were just frustrated. Now it's dead. Just like all of us will be someday.
Alright brain, that's enough of that shit, just shut up already.

Presidential Libray destroyed by flood

GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD Crawford, Texas (AP)A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where the books were kept. Both books have been lost. A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one. The White House tried to call FEMA but there was no answer.

Boy is my face red

I'm so sorry to everyone who commented. I accidently turned on comment moderation and didn't provide an email address for them to notify me.
I would never have known if my pal Kilgorsky hadn't emailed me. I just published them and now I will go back and read them.
I should be making soap, my wholesale lady emailed and they are back in the game with something potentially HUGE working, we'll see how that goes. I also owe Mrs. Honey a batch of patchouli, mmmmmm my favorite and I have a batch to make for a swap I'm in. Today is going to be soaptacular....just as soon as I finish my coffee.

Well, that's it then

I have no readers. I'm talking to myself lalalallalalala

I'm sick as a dog and my dr. decides to go to a medical conference, what's up with that? Oh well, all this coughing's got to be burning calories, right?

Who are you?

Apparently it's delurking week
So, if you read and don't comment, and I know you do 'cause I can look at my stats, it's time to delurk.

If we're friends or related ...

you might want to run away.
While we were in Wichita Falls for D's stepmom's funeral he got a call that one of the guys from his former motorcycle club is in a coma and not expected to live. He's been on Interferon treaments and got some sort of infection. This guy was as nice as they come. The first time I met him he pulled up at ST & R's place on his bike and the bike was rigged up with a box so his dog could ride, too! When we all went to Frederickburg he lent me his jacket when I got cold. Just a really nice guy. It's the 2nd week of Janurary and this is the 3rd one already this year.
The trip and funeral went off without a hitch. We fed omlettes to D's super skinny dad this morning then we drove up for the funeral. It was hysterical to watch my father in law bark orders at D about his driving. D held up well under the strain other than telling me to "shut up" when I made a comment about him getting fried fish, fried chicken, macaroni & cheese, corn, a roll and fruit salad at Luby's. A meal made entirely of fat & carbs. *sigh*
I've given up hope that he'll take his diabetes seriously. He can't even remember to take his meds or check his blood sugar. I hope the consequences won't be as severe for him as they were for Cyndi. Watching his father's sadness burying his wife of 41 years was painful and I'm not looking forward to my time to deal with that. But, just for today I don't have to so I'm not going to worry about it.
Mrs. Honey, thank you so much for your donation for Cyndi. I miss you!

Help needed

If any of you can donate a bit to help pay for Cyndi's cremation, it would be greatly appreciated.

If any of you would like to help you can use paypal to send it to me at ladygodivabath@yahoo.com and I will make sure it goes to help pay for her cremation. Make sure you note what it's for. If you make a donation of $20 or more I will send you a bar of soap as a thank you. It's the best I could think of on short notice.

Radio Silence

I do have something to blog about but I'm under strict orders to maintain radio silence for the time being.

Besides the secret thing, not much is up. I've got a head cold and we're going to Wichita Falls for the funeral tommorow. I wish I could just stay in bed and sleep instead. It's cold, not too cold but after all those warm days 42 feels like the North Pole, especially since I'm sick.

Proud of D and eating dark chocolate M&M's

I found some more crack aka dark chocolate M&M's. They had them at Big Lots. I should have known. Big Lots had my hair mouse when it got discontinued (Salon Selectives used to make this kick ass mouse, leave in hair lightener thing that was cheap, worked and lasted forever, I guess that's why they discontinued it)

D is with his dad and has been since 6:30 this morning, even though we didn't get to bed 'till 2:45 and he was up coughing most of the night. We had a poker party last night. We got into a huge fight about it after I found out Cyndi had died. I didn't feel like company, but I'm glad we went through with it. I had fun and it was a good distraction. Of course, even though we had it in the garage so our friends could smoke, it was too smokey for me and my lungs aren't happy this morning. At one point I considered smoking a cigar but I remembered I have asthma just in time.

D's stepmom died during the night. D and his father have never had a close relationship, much like my dad and I. But, his dad has no one else right now and I'm really proud of D for being there for his dad. He is helping him make funeral arrangments, write the obit and all that other stuff. Since his wife has been so ill for so long, her passing is a relief in many ways. But, still, they were married 41 years and it's got to be hard as hell to deal with.

I'm under orders to make more peanut butter fudge. That is my contribution to the funeral arrangements. I think I'll make a pot of beans, too. Man can not live by sweets alone. But, I wonder what dark chocolate M&M fudge would be like?

Regretting the things I didn't do

D's stepmom is still alive. They aren't expecting her to last the weekend, though.

But, shit, I can't even hardly fucking type this. Cyndi, my sisters roommate that I dearly loved died in her sleep last night. I think I've posted about her before. She's the blind one that I had a long conversation with death about not to long ago. She really helped me a lot with some of the struggles I've had because of her own near death experience on an operating table.

And now she's gone and I can still hear her voice in my head. I haven't talked to her much since my sister's been in NC but she called last week. She needed a ride and couldn't think of anyone else to ask. And I would have loved to have done it but then I got sick and missed so much work and I had to call and say I couldn't do it. She said that was ok, she'd gotten another ride and that she loved me.

And I loved her, too and I'm going to miss her. Every time I'd call she and I would chat. She was so excited about her new guide dog and I was supposed to go watch her walk him and I never did go.

I hate regrets.

What is that..over there..on the horizon?

Is that hope????

Tonight after work I ate doodads(D's version of chex mix, we were completely out but since my sis is staying in NC another week, we ate hers. Yes we are horrible, like crack heads. Don't worry sis, we used the gift card from big brother to buy the stuff to make more!). Anyway, so I ate doodads and a couple cookies. Then we went to a meeting and then out to dinner. So dinner was about 2 hours after the doodad consumption. I was still feeling full but I stupidly ordered anyway. I ate a few bites of my dinner and a couple bites of cake and I've been miserable ever since. Horribly fucking god awful miserable.
So, I started Googling. I figured there HAS to be something else to treat this. After finding yet another dismissive GI site claiming this is a common, easy to treat problem and then listing Reglan as the only approved drug and the low residue diet as the recommended eating plan, I got pissed off. I'd like those damn GI Dr's to have this for just one day and then tell me it's a mild problem! And, I don't even have the really bad version where you puke and can't eat and have to get a feeding tube. But, from what I read tonight of some case histories, apparently this is not only a chronic condition, it can be progressive as well.
So, I Googled again, this time gastroparesis support which led me to a site which seems to be inactive since my emails bounced back but they did have a link to a Yahoo group with 1931 members that mentions 24 hour support and a buddy system. I applied for membership. I hope I get approved.
No one really understands how awful this. If I hear one more person say "oh I WISH I had that problem" I will scream. No, you don't wish that you were constantly nauseated, that you can't eat a well balanced meal, that you get full after only the smallest amounts of food and that everything you eat sits like a brick in your gut. You don't wish your constant belches sound and feel like they are coming up from the depths of hell itself. And you don't wish that you can't even eat a fucking candy bar when you want one! Yes I have lost weight and continue to lose it but the price I'm paying is not worth it!
I'm depressed and angry. I have no support on this issue at all and I know people are tired of hearing me bitch. So, please pray I get into this support group. I need it.

Mood

I am in a bad mood

The End

Death Watch

D got a call last night from his sister. His step mom is in the hospital, dying.
When we were there on Christmas day she hadn't eaten in 4 days and his dad was taking her to the dr. the next day. D hasn't been able to get in touch with his dad since. Turns out he put her in a nursing home. But, she was doing so poorly that they took her to the hospital.
She's in ICU and they said her kidneys are shutting down. She's been in poor health for a long time. D is worried how her death will affect his dad. I think that he is so worn down from caring for her that he may do better once she's gone. But, he is old and sick himself so maybe not.
It's weird, he rarely mentions his stepmom, they didn't have much of a relationship as he didn't see his dad often growing up. She's been senile for a few years, too. I met her once. She was a prolific painter in her day and two of her paintings hand in my house. That's about all I know of her but, her death is meaningful to D, if only because it marks the passage of time and the eventuality of his father's passing.

What gastroparesis means to me

It means that today I have eaten
at 8 am- 1 sweet and salty nut granola bar
at 11 am - leftover fried rice mixed with hot & sour soup leftovers (1/2 cup total)
at 12:15 pm- 1/2 cup of campbell's select roasted pepper & black bean soup (which would be good if you mixed in some sour cream and ate it with chips, for lunch...not so much)
at 1 pm -3 small butter cookies

It is now 2:27 pm, a very fantastic co-worker brought me a 3 musketeer's bar back from lunch around 1 pm but I didn't eat it because I had just eaten the 3 very small cookies. Here it is an hour and a half later and I still can't eat the fucking candy bar, I'm full still and belching. It's disgusting. What kind of life is it when I can't eat chocolate when I want to?

Discretion is the better part of valor

There are many things I know how to do that I'm very proud of. I am a good cook, I can make soap and other bath products. I read pretty fast, I have a good memory, I'm good at my job.
Two things that I'm not good at reared their ugly heads last night. The first thing is what kept me up an hour later than normal and the second is what kept me from sleeping.
The first thing is rather trivial, but I suck at wrapping gift baskets. I have tried every feasible method and I still suck. I spent an entire hour trying to wrap the basket I'm donating to D's work party. It's on the 14th and I'm really looking forward to it but I'll hang my head in shame over my crumpled gift basket wrap. The products in it are fabulous but the wrapping is no good. Next time you see a beautifully wrapped basket, take a moment to appreciate the skill of the maker.


This post has been edited.

The Baking Continues

Who says holiday baking has to stop after New Years? Not me and my new Kitchen Aid!
I should be making soap as my stock is woefully low but cookies taste so much better.
Here is a cookie you can make when you, like me last night, are too damn tired/lazy to go to the store for sugar.

1 1/4 powdered sugar
1 cup of butter
mixed until light and fluffy
add in
1 1/4 cup flour
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup of walnuts
6 oz of chocolate chips

The original recipe says to use ground walnuts and chocolate chips but I didn't and they are fine. Drop by the teaspoon on and ungreased cookie sheet and bake at 250 for 35-40 minutes.
D is sick with what I had last week (his is worse though 'cause he's coughing) so I let him have as many cookies as he wanted. Diabetes doesn't count when you are sick.

The long and windy road

We had a hell of a ride Sunday. It was warm and pretty out but the wind was gusting up to 40 mhp. It felt like I was getting punched in the face and my eyebrows were being ripped off. There weren't many bikes on the road, we were amoung the few brave/stupid enough to ride.
We rode for about 8 hours all told. Down to the farm and back. The farm was real nice once we found it. The map we had wasn't very detailed. Thank goodness for the proverbial friendly country bumpkin neighbor who pointed us in the right direction. Then when we got there D couldn't get his boss on the phone and couldn't remember where the key was hidden. Eventually it was found and we sat around for awhile then headed home. It's definetly the journey not the destination that counts.
As you may have heard, Texas has been hit with some very dangerous grass fires. We could smell smoke in the air all the way home. Very scary!
I probably shouldn't have ridden as my throat is sore again. D's sick now, too.
I have more to write but I have to focus on work, it's year end crunch time so I'll probably not be posting so much for awhile. If I am posting, someome remind me to get back to work!

Kitchen Mishap

Yes, the fun continues
This one is pretty funny though

I mentioned gargling with sage tea, it seems to be helping, too. Well, the other morning I was gargling and thought "wow, this doesn't taste half bad, I could almost drink it, it's much better than yesterday, guess I've gotten used to it"
After I was done, I turned around to see the bottle of ALLSPICE on the counter! Yep, I gargled with it instead of the sage.

Happy New Year

I couldn't take the antibiotic we have 'cause I googled and it had a warning about colitis! So, I tried an herbal remedy. I gargled with sage tea and it worked!
Had a great time last night at ST & R's annual bash. We drank italian cream sodas and ate like pigs and talked and laughed and had fun.
Since it's going to be 80 today we're going on a run to D's bosses farm. He's got a trailer loaded with food and a pond to fish in and gave us the gate key. He's been begging D to go see it for two years now. We're going with ST & R and their friends Mi & Ma. Mi is the one from France who went to dinner with us when my friend Neal and his wife came to town. They are a blast to ride with so we're bound to have fun today. We were supposed to have left already but are draggin' this morning and R called and said they were, too. So I just wanted to pop on and wish everyone a Happy New Year.
I'll post latter about my visit to my brother's new HUGE house yesterday.